GROUND WAR COMPLETE: RING THE BELL!!!

This morning my 1st cup of hot coffee with Jesus is filled with strong feelings of powerful emotions of joy, peace, excitement, and THANKS!!!

As I sit in my office, within the lobby of this hotel, with only the night manager present whom I’ve gotten to know very well, I am trying to contain my shouting so as to not to wake up the entire hotel because I get to ring the bell later this morning which marks the End of my treatment, right after my 10:30 radiation treatment. What JOY I am feeling right now! I am humanly challenged to express the totality of what I am feeling!

What I will do instead, is to turn to share a few things with you about how God and the Holy Spirit have been at work during my cancer and radiation treatment in the ground war against my brain cancer battle!

In just a few hours Debby, Mary, (Alew went home, Mary, my precious baby girl, is now with us!) and I will make our last trip to the Duke Cancer Pavilion for final radiation treatment!

If you wonder with me, especially those who have been with me from the beginning, you may be saying wow that was quick Jerry? Yes! At the beginning, our blessed doctor shared with us research data concerning ages dealing with radiation treatment of brain cancer. There is vast research that anyone past 65, as they went through six weeks of radiation, did no better in regard to outcome of treatment, as compared to a robust three week treatment. So as the doctor shares the data with us, he says it’s basically your choice. With us living in Jacksonville and multiple trips back here to stay in a hotel as I go through this treatment, his question leads to one of the most easiest responses of this journey: “doc let’s do the three weeks of robust, intense, chemo radiation treatment!”

This Duke team has been incredible! They moved mountains within their own system of appointments to help get me started quickly for chemo and radiation treatment, praise the Lord!

I did struggle with one concern when I would check in the radiation lobby to sign in for the treatments — I am now more fully aware of others with multiple cancer related issues. For those who know me, you know, I have deep love and appreciation for young adults and children. Some of my most challenging days at the cancer Pavilion for my treatment had nothing to do what I went through. No, it was when we would check in, and I would see parents with small children. My heart would ache for them!

Debby would place her hands on my shoulder on those days. I tried hard to fight the tears so they would not see any. With this all shared, with you, let me now turn to what God has been doing in the ground war against my bad, large, brain cancer!

Over this past week, Debby, Ray, and Alew, have been watching me carefully for signs of healing already during the treatment. As you can imagine, the person in the storm in the battle is not always able to see what God is doing in the midst of the war. In our eye to eye and knee to knee conversations, whether early in the morning or in the evening, Debby would share in profound love, “honey today I saw signs of healing!”

As I get ready to head to Duke in a few hours, to celebrate the end of the ground war strategy, and to ring the bell, I share with you who have been praying for me who have been bringing encouragement to me, those who have helped hold my arms up in this battle, we already know of how God has showed up, bringing healing to me!

I will need help from Debby with this, but I am fully aware right now of the following blessings already: first, my speech has definitely improved! Early in this battle, I was disturbed somewhat about a voice coming forth from my mouth that was different; choppy, unclear at times. You could imagine as a pastor whose basic most important tool is his words, this led to some early powerful prayer moments with my Heavenly Father for help in this area.

Today, I rejoice, as my normal voice has been returning, praise be to Jesus! So for those of you who will hear from me several weeks down the road, I WARN you now get ready for some powerful, down east, COASTAL, language of AFFIRMATIONS of praise!

Second, I am so thrilled to share with you that today I am able to stand upright and make very short, but few steps, with someone by me. I have to have a cane, for balance. I laugh, I am like the pillsbury doll, but a bubble, wobbly, version! HA! HA! I must go slow, short, and not fall! However, honestly most of time outside of my house you will see me in wheelchair. Just safer, and easier for Debby!

As we began treatment, I was totally bound in wheelchair! No way was I going to walk without any help. It was a humbling experience, to have Debby and family be around everywhere we went, because I simply was not able to stand up and walk at all. While there are times during my day when I am not able to stand and take steps, due to significant fatigue and weariness. Praise be to Jesus for the tremendous important, small, huge, healing I have experienced in this one area already!

These moments of being able to stand and take steps, with cane are limited, in short burst of time, before fatigue and weariness cascades over me again, where I must sit back down. I give God thanks this morning for the healing of being able to stand straight up just for little periods of time and to make small steps with people standing by me, just in case I need help! JOY explodes within me!

Thirdly, and very important to me, it is quite evident that the treatment is at work because I have more clarity with my thoughts! Oh, I still have problems remembering. I still must be slow with talking, because it is hard for my thoughts to be fully articulate if I talk too fast. Today I share with you another praise, I know, and feel the connection of words with my mouth is flowing so much better, praise Jesus!

My dear friends and brothers and sisters in Christ the above three miracles of healing are apparent right now today! I am honored and humbled by His presence in my life. I turn now to thank you for standing in the gap for Debby and I and my family.

PAUSE FOR A MOMENT WITH ME: Please take a deep breath and a good, long, swig of your coffee right now. Let me share with you a very personal discussion with my awesome Duke doctor. Tell you something funny between us—we have gotten close! With his approval I call him by his first name, Eugene, and he calls me, Pastor Jerry. Those around us laugh at this development last week! Anyway, here is the secret of an important comment I made to Eugene as we had finished going over the next few months of the conclusion of the Ground War Strategy against the battle of my brain cancer: “ Eugene, before I depart today, please know how deeply grateful I am for ALL you have done!” I pause then continue “Eugene, I give my Heavenly Father thanks for raising within you such a desire to assist patients with brain cancer like me, Eugene, Jesus worked in your life years ago to help me today! I can only contemplate ALL the schooling, the training, the constant research you go through for your patients. So, my dear brother please know this from me—I WOULD GLADLY LIVE LIKE THIS, WITH THE BLESSINGS I HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED BY YOUR CARE FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS, IF MY FATHER. WOULD PERMIT IT!” I cried tears, Debby, and Alew shed tears, Eugene rolled up close to my face, looked deep in my eyes, “Pastor Jerry I will always be your doctor for for rest of your life, I am not going anywhere”, and then I saw small tears in his eyes too!

As I ring the bell loud and violently today, with Debby and my baby girl, Mary, holding on to me, please know I will be envisioning each of you hugging on me and cheering me on, Praise Jesus from whom all blessings flow! I do not deserve such company, but Jesus has been at work all my life bringing children of GOD like you in my life. YOU have been HIS HANDS, HIS VOICE, HIS Presence in my life…and may not have realized it…please, right now, know how precious you are to Debby and I in this battle!

I still need you, I still need your prayers, your faith, your love, as we now turn to the powerful, spiritual, air component strategy to beat, to demolish, to eradicate, my brain cancer, and tumors!

Honestly, without any doubt, my air component strategy has indeed been the most phenomenal, foundational, experience from the very beginning! As I have been sharing with you through my pastoral reflections, my spiritual campaign strategy began even before I was made aware of my brain cancer! I will have many more things to say in the near future about this spiritual air campaign.

For now, I simply share and remind you of its importance in my life, and in yours! How precious it is as a child of the living God to know, and believe that He is present in our lives!

This brain cancer battle has indeed profoundly impacted me in my relationship with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit! I was taken quickly by Him in the deep waters of the Atlantic ocean, praise Jesus. You see my dear brothers, and sisters, I really haven’t been living in the hotel, I really haven’t been living at my home, I have been living in the deep of the oceans behind Cape Lookout, beyond Big Rock!

Emotionally, spiritually, it is hard for me to describe this morning, but I feel like God put me a huge bubble, drug me out deep ,to a precious area of my life. He followed me in a dynamic, peaceful, safe bubble to help my healing occur. A dear precious, dynamic, pastor and prayer warrior in the western part of our state, found out she has a throat cancer on same day I found out I had brain cancer….what a God-incident.

Her name is Evelyn, please pray for her as she starts now her chemo, radiation treatment for next 7 weeks. I introduce you to her here because as I began to experience my early morning, fourth watch spiritual experience, it was Evelyn who shared this most profound guidance that I received with joy: “Jerry you are living in the ‘thin place’ , an actual space between Heaven and Earth, that is rarely experienced but has a history of God blessing those with deep, life threatening events like you. Jerry, embrace the thin place, cherish it for as long as it is present.”

YES, there in these most challenging three weeks of treatment, I have deeply cherished living in the thin place! Again, I stopped trying to express it to you with words because it’s simply not possible my dear brothers and sisters.

Jesus loves us so deeply! He desires our hearts! He wants to be intimate with each of us. He desires to show up in our lives.

Why did it take me to battle brain cancer to understand the depth of what I’m expressing to you? As a pastor, I am ashamed of myself for not already living in light of this bubble. Jesus and I have had many discussions over this one concern. I know, you know, that no theologian has a handle on this spiritual issue! But I will share this, the Holy Spirit has a most profound way to bring clarity and peace to His children if we would simply just spend some time with Him!

I am sorry this message is so long this morning, but then I’m not! This Pastor reflection is most challenging to share, trying to articulate emotions and feelings with you. The Holy Spirit moved mightily upon me early this morning during the fourth watch, He knew I wanted to express what I have shared with you and I needed His help. So I conclude this most incredible journey with you today as we, together, signal the ground war strategy as done, a complete victory, now lets RING THE BELL IN JOY!

Now Amalek came and fought with Israel in Rephidim. And Moses said to Joshua, “Choose us some men and go out, fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in my hand.” So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.

Exodus 17:8-13 NKJV

Question: As you just finished this reflection with your 1st cup of coffee this morning, what thoughts do you have? What do you hear the Holy Spirit speaking to you? I most humbly ask that you turn your attention now on your life, on your own battles right now, and move into the deep ocean by the power of the Holy Spirit. Simply spend some time with Him and allow Him to WASH over you, to drag you out in a bubble to the very deepest parts of the Atlantic Ocean!!!