LOOKING THROUGH CRACKED MIRROR!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
Long suffering
Work in suffering…
Fear
Tenant of the faith .. Jesus suffering
Sanctification.. evolving in our walk in our experiences
Helps with the worry, brings joy, peace
Suffering will not last
Jerry got Ray fired
It’s a challenge for us to truly see ourselves on this side of Heaven! Oh, like you I had an image of myself prior to this battle! But, now the cracked mirror I look into daily has dramatically transformed me into a new person, thank you Jesus!
I share a few personal things of what’s been happening during treatments with you now. I have large amount of radiation each day due to the magnitude of the tumors, as I am reminded that over 30% of my brain is covered my brain so amount of radiation is huge! As I go to treatment I rejoice and give God thanks for the technology of radiation. For the nurses in their care as it does battle against these tumors with a blessing of God each day.
However, as the days go by, I see in my crack window that my face is swelling, especially the left side with a big tumor is located. In my crack window now I see a weariness at times, no better state at a deep fatigue, that rises up from the depth of the ocean and consumes me sometimes. This fatigue makes my eyes a little droopy, and at times it is frustrating for me when as a challenge just to smile, something so important in my life that I like doing.
The scripture today was powerful for me as I spend time in the with the Holy Spirit during the fourth watch of the morning! Guess what one word spoke out to me today as I look in my crack window this morning? A different word in the list hit me powerfully this morning, Before I share the word I ask of you, which word do you think it is?
If you said it is long suffering, you are correct! As I peer in my crack window now, I sit here with the anointing of the Holy Spirit, talking to Jesus, wondering about what I look like down the near future? With the current changes occurring to me personally, my physical changes and my brain rewired impact occurring daily, how will Pastor Jerry be in the future?
I am left with talking with Jesus about a new reality for my life, a new image shaped by long suffering, and it is good! As I share this, please do not be sorry for me no sir no ma’am that would not be spiritually right! This reflection is a deep personal one shared with you this morning, it is not intended for you not to be sorry for me but rather to rejoice with me as I learn a new deep spiritual truth with Jesus!
Long suffering, of course, the brain cancer battle has created this new, fluid, spiritual awareness. I think of it this morning, like a fog slowly approaching my boat, as I am out fishing in the ocean.
When I fish offshore, I love to troll!! I like to go after the big fish! I love that sound on the reel that screams when I fish it! So often my focus as I drive the boat is always peeing over my shoulder to those fishing in the back of the boat.
In this reflection this morning, I see me peering over my shoulder, waiting for that big fish to hit that that bait, we have outback. As I slowly return to my role as a captain and peer out the bow of the boat I sent for the first time a prominent fog begin to involve the front of my boat.
Wow, it grabs my attention quick! As captain of the boat, I am responsible for the safety of those on the boat. Where did this fall come from? Why didn’t I see it appearing? What is this fog?
I did not see this battle of this huge brain cancer struggle coming! I have pondered now a few things that appear to intellectually reflect on when it may have started. But that is not what’s important for this morning, what is important is it came fast and hard! It began a new journey in my life with Jesus! It has taken me on a very deep and profound theological awareness of long suffering. Honestly, I feel like I’m back in seminary learning something for the first time in my life, how precious.
So I sit here with Jesus, listening to the Holy Spirit. I am asking this morning for wisdom, Lord. Will you tell me how I look in my cracked window in the near future?
The Holy Spirit, most powerfully ministers to me, Jerry it hasn’t ever been about how you look for the outside. Our joy has always been how you look in the inside!
Questions:
I wonder how you see yourself in your own cracked window,? None of us have a pure window to look into.
Are you at peace with the image you see of yourself?
Do you have joy this morning anout who you are?
Come, Holy Spirit as you are working on me thank you for working within the hearts of my brothers and sisters!
Thank you, Jesus for healing them! Thank you, Jesus even this morning as they have their cup of coffee you rise up within their and remind minding them of how precious they are to you! Please remind my sisters, how glorious they look in your eye! Please remind my brothers how handsome you view them! Somehow in a mystery of your power, thank you Jesus for speak than them clearly this morning of how deeply precious they are to you, just as they are!
But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light!
